The Art of Starting a Bandwagon

Moving to Denver, one of the first things you notice is that there aren't any Rockies fans. More specifically, there are no celebrity Rockies fans on record, which is the most important thing for a baseball franchise. For example:
Former lovable television icon turned smug evil game-show host Drew Carey

Sully Sullenberg of Hudson River and Rockstar Sex Fame

Dick Vitale, Hooters Shareholder

But that's just to name a few of Major League Baseball's most iconic franchises. Given all these celebs have all been invited to throw out the first pitch, it's fairly obvious that it pays to be THE token celebrity fan of any organization. The thing about the Rockies is that, even on google, nothing will pop up when you search "Celebrity Rockies Fan" (disclosure: I did not do this search). Given that there are no Rockies fans period, I figure that as America's first Rockies fan I will become the de-facto celebrity Rockies fan; once established as such the first pitch invites and women will come in droves (presumably).

Starting a bandwagon is a three step process, as follows:

Step 1: Purchase a mackin' hat

Obvious choice. Peacock a bit to gather interest. Nothing more mackin' than fake Guy Fieri hair. KEY TIP: Cut off tags before wearing.

Step 2: Find your lucky shirt

This one is a little more tricky. Now I'm not a big jersey guy, which made it a little trickier, plus the fact that there were no easily found Mike Hampton jersey on ebay, but I decided on this bad boy for two reasons, one good one necessary. The good, set the tone. Bad Girls Club. Next. The necessary, shirts with tons of letters are provocative, but they make people stare at your belly. A necessary evil some might say.

Step 3 (Least Important): Learn the players on the team

Stay tuned for a definitive breakdown of our beloved Rockies roster...

Signed,

America's First Rockies Fan